HEALTH LIBRARY

Parenting While Managing Your Own Mental Health

by Dana Hinders
May 22, 2025

Raising a child is filled with moments of deep love and joy, but also with pressure, guilt, and exhaustion. Now imagine navigating all of that while battling anxiety, depression, or another mental health challenge.

If that sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You are not broken. You are not alone. And you are not failing.

Far too often, parents silently carry the weight of emotional pain—believing they must be endlessly strong, endlessly patient, and endlessly perfect. The truth is that strength doesn’t mean doing it all without breaking. It means showing up, even when you’re struggling. It means reaching out for support, not because you’re weak—but because you love your children enough to get the help you deserve.

Why Prioritizing Your Health Is a Gift to Your Child

It can sometimes feel selfish to focus on your own well-being when you’re responsible for a child’s life. The reality is that caring for your mental health is one of the best gifts you can give your children.

When you regulate your emotions, your son or daughter learns to regulate theirs. When you model asking for help, they learn it’s okay to do the same. When you practice self-compassion, your child is more likely to grow up with a healthy inner voice and a strong sense of emotional resilience.

Children are incredibly observant. They pick up on emotional cues, even when words aren’t spoken. By taking small steps toward healing, you’re creating a safer, more stable environment for them.

Actionable Strategies to Help You Stay Grounded When Parenting Feels Tough

When you’re balancing your own mental health challenges with the responsibilities of parenting, it’s easy to feel like there’s never enough time, energy, or patience. These strategies aren’t about doing more—they’re about doing what matters most, with kindness and intention.

1. Simplify Your Daily Routine

Predictability reduces stress for everyone in your home. Create visual schedules with simple icons or drawings so your child knows what to expect as the day progresses. This can be especially helpful if your energy levels tend to dip during the afternoon and evening. For example:

Wake up, brush your teeth, get dressed, and eat breakfast in the morning.
Have a snack, do homework, and play in the afternoon.
Eat dinner, take a bath, and have story time before bed.

Post the schedule on the fridge or a bulletin board. If your energy is limited, pick one time of day to focus on (like evenings) and build from there. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s predictability.

2. Create a “Minimum List”

On hard days, getting through the basics is enough. Your “minimum list” is your personal survival plan. This might include:

Taking your prescribed medications.
Feeding the kids—even if it’s just a bowl of cereal or a simple peanut butter sandwich.
Doing a 3-minute grounding exercise.
Changing into clean clothes—even if they’re pajamas or sweatpants.

Keep your list in your phone for easy access. Celebrate completing each item, even if it’s small. These acts of care matter.

3. Look for Micro-Moments of Connection

Feeling like you’re not doing “enough” for your kids is a common fear, but love doesn’t always look like big, dramatic gestures. Here are some ideas for manageable ways to stay present:

Hug your child and say one kind thing.
Dance together to a favorite song.
Color or draw together.
Look into their eyes when they’re talking to you, even if you’re sitting on the floor sorting laundry.
Share a favorite snack and ask, “What was your favorite part of the day?”

These moments build emotional security and closeness over time, even if your energy is limited.

4. Practice Mindfulness Together

You don’t need to be a meditation expert to experience the benefits of mindfulness. Simple, shared mindfulness activities with your child can help regulate both your nervous systems. Try:

Lie on the floor with a small stuffed animal on your child’s stomach. Watch it rise and fall together as you breathe slowly.
Say, “Let’s find five blue things in the room,” or “Can you hear three different sounds right now?”
Squeeze your hands into fists, hold for 5 seconds, and release. This helps release built-up tension.

These practices are easy to do anywhere—before school, after a meltdown, or during bedtime wind-down routine.

5. Establish a Support Plan

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Delegating is healthy, so don’t be afraid to make support from others part of your routine. For example:

Choose a trusted person to be your “check-in buddy.” Send a quick text once a day, even if it’s just a thumbs-up emoji.
Ask a friend or family member to help with weekly tasks like laundry, dishes, or picking the kids up once a week.
If you have a co-parent in the picture, divide duties in a way that honors your current mental capacity. Use a shared calendar or app to communicate responsibilities.

6. Use Tools to Reduce Your Mental Load

Technology and organization can lighten your mental load. Try these tips for busy parents:

Set alarms for medications or school pickups.
Use grocery delivery services or meal planning apps.
Keep a “go-to” list of easy meals (mac & cheese, frozen pizza, etc.) for tough nights.
Keep calming tools within reach—like noise-canceling headphones, lavender lotion, or a fidget toy.

7. Make Transitions Easier

If you find yourself snapping at your child during transitions like leaving the house or starting homework, you’re not alone. These moments are hard for most families. Here are some tips to help you make things feel less chaotic:

Use countdown warnings such as “Five more minutes of screen time, then we’ll clean up.”
Transition objects like a special rock or bracelet your child holds while going to daycare can soothe separation anxiety—for both of you.
A “clean-up song” or bedtime playlist signals what comes next without you needing to repeat instructions.