HEALTH LIBRARY

Emotional Resilience: Learning How to Bounce Back When Life Feels Overwhelming

by Dana Hinders
December 20, 2024

“A good half of the art of living is resilience.” ~ Alain de Botton

Emotional resilience refers to your ability to adapt to and recover from stress, adversity, or trauma. Think of it as a mental “spring” that allows you to bounce back after being stretched or compressed by life’s challenges.

Resilience is not something you’re born with or without. It’s shaped by your experiences, relationships, and coping strategies—and it can be improved at any time.

A 6-Step Plan to Help You Build Emotional Resilience

Tools like the Connor-Davidson Resilience Scale (CD-RISC) and the Brief Resilience Scale ask people to rate their agreement with statements about coping, adaptability, and emotional regulation. These psychological tools provide insight into how people become equipped to move through the difficult parts of life without getting stuck.

Let’s look at what you can do to increase your emotional resilience—so you feel better prepared to tackle any challenge life throws your way.

Step 1: Cultivate Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and how they influence your interactions with the world. It’s a cornerstone of emotional intelligence.

Practice mindfulness. Take a few minutes daily to tune into how you’re feeling, without judgment. Using apps like Headspace or Calm can make this process easier.
Identify your triggers. Write down situations or thoughts that consistently lead to stress or negative emotions. Understanding these patterns is the first step toward breaking them.
Check in with your body. Stress often shows up physically before we’re aware of it mentally. Notice tension in your shoulders, changes in your breathing, or a racing heart.

Step 2: Build a Support Network

Strong connections with others provide emotional safety and encouragement.

Strengthen existing relationships. Don’t be afraid to reach out to family members or friends you trust. Let them know how they can support you.
Try something new. Whether it’s a support group, club, hobby, or online forum, being part of a group with shared interests can reduce your feelings of isolation.
Make a difference. Volunteering your time, whether you’re distributing packages at a local food bank or caring for puppies at the nearest animal shelter, can boost your sense of connection and purpose while fostering new relationships.

Step 3: Develop Healthy Coping Strategies

How you respond to stress can make a big difference in your resilience. Without healthy coping strategies, it becomes tempting to turn to harmful behaviors like substance abuse, avoidance, or self-isolation—all of which can exacerbate mental health issues.

Challenge negative thoughts. When your inner critic gets loud, counter it with facts. For example, replace “I can’t handle this” with “I’ve handled tough situations before, and I can do it again.”
Set realistic goals. Break overwhelming tasks into smaller steps. Celebrate progress, no matter how small.
Create calming rituals. Deep breathing, journaling, or listening to soothing music can help you manage stress in the moment.

Step 4: Find Meaning and Purpose

Resilient people often draw strength from a sense of purpose. Finding meaning in your life can give you the motivation to keep going during tough times.

Reflect on your values. What’s most important to you? Family, creativity, helping others, or personal growth?
Align your daily actions with your values. For example, if connection is one of your core values, make it a point to call a loved one weekly.
Practice gratitude. Regularly acknowledging what you’re grateful for—even if it’s something as small as starting the day with your favorite coffee—can shift your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.

Step 5: Strengthen Your Emotional Regulation Skills

Emotional regulation helps you manage intense feelings, so they don’t overwhelm you. This allows you to experience emotions without judgment or denial—acknowledging that all emotions are valid parts of the human experience.

Pause before reacting. When you feel triggered, take a deep breath or count to 10. This gives you time to choose a thoughtful response.
Use grounding techniques. If emotions feel out of control, grounding exercises—like focusing on your senses—can help you stay present.
Label your emotions. Naming your feelings (“I’m frustrated” or “I feel lonely”) can help you process them.

Step 6: View Setbacks as Learning Opportunities

Every challenge is an opportunity to grow. Reflecting on what went wrong and what you can do differently next time builds resilience.

Ask reflective questions. What did this experience teach me? How can I use what I learned moving forward? Taking the time to think objectively about how you’d change your approach to a specific problem helps you better handle future challenges as they arise.
Celebrate your effort. Even if the outcome wasn’t ideal, acknowledge the strength it took to face the challenge. Your goal is progress, not perfection.
Be patient with yourself. Growth takes time. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.