Something seems “off” about your friend lately—maybe they’re canceling plans, withdrawing from conversations, or sharing cryptic snippets of their struggles online. Should you offer advice? Give them space? You want to help, but the last thing you want is to make things worse.
The good news is that just by showing you care; you’re already making a difference. Supporting a friend through mental health challenges like anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, suicidal thoughts, or a dual diagnosis doesn’t mean you need all the answers—it’s about being there in a way that’s thoughtful, respectful, and encouraging.
Be There Without Trying to Fix Everything
It’s natural to want to make things better, but sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is simply listen. Studies show that active listening—truly hearing someone without interrupting or offering unsolicited advice—can improve emotional well-being and strengthen relationships. Instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, try these approaches:
- Offer a listening ear without interruption. Just being present can be incredibly comforting. Your friend doesn’t need you to have all the answers, but having you listen can help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
- Ask open-ended questions. “How have you been feeling lately?” or “What’s been on your mind?” are helpful questions because they encourage sharing without pressuring your friend to disclose more than they’re comfortable with.
- Show empathy through your body language. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning slightly forward can convey that you’re engaged and care about what they’re saying.
- Reflect on what you’re hearing. Summarizing or paraphrasing what they’ve shared can show that you’re truly listening.
- Avoid minimizing their experience. Saying “It could be worse” or “At least…” can feel dismissive. Instead, you want to acknowledge the difficulty of their feelings or situation.
- Respect their silence. Sometimes, your friend may need a moment to gather their thoughts or process their feelings. Resist the urge to fill the quiet with words. Silence can be a powerful form of support.
Respect Your Friend’s Boundaries
Talking about mental health struggles isn’t easy. Your friend might not be ready to share their feelings with you, and that’s okay. Let them know you’re available whenever they’re ready, but don’t push them to share more than they’re comfortable with.
Respecting boundaries also means understanding that some days your friend might not have the energy to talk or engage. This can feel hurtful, but know that it’s nothing personal—and it’s not a reflection of your friendship. By giving them space when needed, you’re showing that their comfort and readiness come first.
Offer Help Tackling Everyday Chores
Mental health challenges often make everyday tasks feel insurmountable. Offering practical support can be a huge relief. Here are some ideas:
- Run errands. Offer to pick up groceries, drop off dinner, or handle other routine tasks. Something as simple as returning library books or picking up prescriptions can remove a significant burden when someone is struggling to manage their energy and emotions. Try suggesting specific help: “I’m heading to the grocery store—can I grab some essentials for you?”
- Help with administrative tasks. Trying to stay on top of bill paying, personal finances, and other household administrative tasks can be stressful for someone who is in the middle of a mental health crisis. If you’re willing to help, this is one less burden for your friend to manage.
- Lend a hand with cleaning and organizing. A cluttered space can amplify anxiety and depression, but organizing it alone can feel overwhelming. Working together to tackle dishes, laundry, or decluttering can make the task feel more manageable and even provide valuable social connections. Plus, a cleaner space often helps create a clearer mind.
- Offer assistance with childcare. Parenting is challenging under any circumstances, but it’s especially difficult when you’re dealing with mental health struggles. Picking the kids up from school, helping them with homework, or taking them out to a fun activity can help lighten the load for your friend.
- Take care of their pets. Animal companions can be a wonderful source of support for someone with mental health challenges, but tending to a pet’s needs can be overwhelming when someone is struggling. Walking your friend’s dog, cleaning their cat’s litter box, or stocking up on pet food can be a comfort if they’re finding it hard to keep up with responsibilities.
Gently Encourage Professional Treatment
The American Psychological Association (APA) stresses that early intervention for mental health challenges can lead to better outcomes, especially for teens and young adults. Here’s how you can gently encourage your friend to seek professional care:
- Frame the discussion in a positive, nonjudgmental way. Instead of saying, “You need therapy,” try: “I’ve noticed you’ve been dealing with a lot lately, and I’m wondering if talking to someone might help.”
- Normalize seeking treatment by reminding them that mental health care is just as important as physical health care. Sharing stories of others who have benefited from therapy can also reduce stigma and encourage them to seek help.
- Offer support in finding help. You can help your friend research therapists, support groups, and clinics or assist them in figuring out the specifics of their insurance coverage.
In Bettendorf, Iowa, Eagle View Behavioral Health offers both inpatient and outpatient treatment options for teens and adults. No-cost, confidential assessments are available 24/7.
