It starts with “just five more minutes.” Then an hour passes. Then the day.
Social media calls it “bed rotting”—a punchline wrapped in memes and self-deprecating humor. But for many people, staying in bed isn’t about rest or rebellion. Instead, it’s a quiet symptom of depression.
Why It’s So Hard to Get Out of Bed When You’re Struggling With Depression
When you’re depressed, it doesn’t just impact your mood. Depression affects motivation and emotional control, making everyday tasks feel daunting and pushing you further into isolation. Without enough dopamine signals, your brain stops building momentum. Tasks that used to feel automatic—like getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, or getting dressed—now take a huge amount of effort. You stop thinking about the future or making plans altogether.
At the same time, depression keeps your nervous system in a prolonged stress response. Your body sees the world as demanding or unsafe, even when nothing is “wrong” at that moment. When this occurs, your system seeks the quickest way to reduce stimulation and save energy. Your bed becomes that refuge. It’s quiet and predictable, asking nothing of you.
The issue is that the longer you stay disconnected, the tougher it becomes to restart your normal daily routine. Your confidence fades, and self-doubt creeps in. You end up hiding in your room because confronting the challenges of daily life feels too intimidating.
Social media can unintentionally normalize “bed rotting” without addressing the emotional pain beneath it. Memes might make you feel less isolated, but they won’t help you break the cycle of depression that stops you from enjoying each day.
Is It Self-Care or a Cry for Help?
Rest is a choice. It’s a form of active recovery. You might read, nap, listen to music, or enjoy a quiet moment with a loved one. When you rest with intention, you usually feel at least a bit more grounded or recharged afterward. There’s a boundary to it. Rest has an endpoint, and you move on when you’re ready. It’s healthy, necessary, and wise self-care.
In contrast, a shutdown caused by depression doesn’t feel like a choice. It occurs when your emotional and physical systems become so overwhelmed that they begin to shut down. You may stay in bed because anything else feels impossible. Instead of recharging, you feel more disconnected, emotionally numb, or even guilty. You question whether you’re lazy or feel like there’s something wrong with you.
If you’re unsure which experience you’re having, ask yourself: “Am I choosing this, or has it chosen me?” If it feels more like a shutdown than a conscious restoration, that’s a sign of deeper distress.
Other Hidden Signs of Depression
While “bed rotting” is the symptom that’s trending on social media, depression manifests in other, less obvious ways. These signs can be easy to overlook or misinterpret—even by the person experiencing them.
- Irritability
Many people think of depression as solely sadness. For some, it can appear as anger or irritability. You may have a shorter temper. Small annoyances might feel enormous. You might lash out and then feel guilt afterward. This is your nervous system being overwhelmed. Depression changes how your brain handles emotions, causing frustration to build quickly while lowering your tolerance for emotional discomfort.
- Decision Paralysis
When you’re dealing with depression, even simple choices can feel heavy. This isn’t indecisiveness; it’s cognitive overload. Depression often impairs executive function, the part of the brain responsible for planning and decision-making. When you lack emotional energy, your brain struggles to sift through options.
- Emotional Numbness
Not feeling anything at all is a sign of what’s called anhedonia. This happens when you lose the ability to feel pleasure or emotional involvement. You might stop enjoying music, food, or hobbies that once made you happy. It can feel like you’re observing your life instead of living it.
- Problems Sleeping
Depression can disrupt your body’s sleep-wake cycle. You might sleep for over 12 hours and still feel drained, or lie awake for hours, unable to calm your thoughts. Your brain struggles with neurotransmitter imbalances that impact both your energy and rest.
- Withdrawing From Friends and Family
Depression often tricks you into thinking you’re a burden. When your energy is low, and your thoughts are heavy, socializing—even with loved ones—can feel impossible. The longer you withdraw, the more isolated and ashamed you might feel. Over time, this can create a cycle that deepens your depression.
Get the Support You Deserve
If you’ve been stuck in bed, zoning out, going through the motions, or feeling like life is heavier than it should be, you are not broken, lazy, or alone. You just need the right support to help you get back to feeling more like yourself.
At Eagle View Behavioral Health in Bettendorf, Iowa, we provide mental health services for adolescents and adults facing challenges like depression, anxiety, trauma, or co-occurring substance use disorders. Our treatment options include inpatient care, outpatient therapy, medication management, and crisis support—all based on proven methods and delivered with compassion. Contact us today for a free, confidential assessment.
